Thomas Alan Orr

The Feast of St. Thomas on the Winter Solstice

The sun wanes. Shadows appear. We walk,
the dog and I, through woods under falling snow
near the abandoned chapel by the river.
Angus cows graze in the corn stubble, quiet,
while a train whistle fills the darkness.
I pray quickly on the shortest day.
 
The longest night follows the shortest day,
and I imagine the wayward saint’s walk
was hard that longest night when, absent in darkness,
Thomas missed the vision of Anastasis, gone like snow
that melts before it hits the ground, while here a quiet
without peace descends on this path by the river.
 
Thoughts clash like ice floes on the river.
I wonder, in the slipping light of day,
if Thomas wandered – troubled, quiet –
retracing the Rabbi’s final walk,
so dolorous and slow, toward death. What snow
of memories buffeted Thomas in that abject darkness?
 
The woods are slipping into darkness.
The chapel tilts precariously toward the river,
beckoning through the steady fall of snow.
The door hangs by a hinge. The last light of day
is swallowed by the gloom within. To walk
closer, I brush stinging brambles, no longer quiet.
 
Inside the chapel something else disturbs the quiet.
Trembling, I think perhaps the darkness
plays upon my senses.  I pause, legs weak, in a slow walk
toward the altar. The dog growls. Outside, the river
flows like time itself, washing up that long past day
when the Rabbi, returning, confronted Thomas, pale as snow.
 
Through the broken window a drift of snow
falls upon the altar and something like a whisper, quiet
but sure, says faith seeks understanding, as day
follows night, as if across the darkness,
rushing over me like a flooded river,
the saint’s contrarian voice moves my legs to walk.

We leave the chapel for the gathered darkness
of the quiet woods. A snow-laden branch bends to the river
like a pilgrim pausing in his walk at close of day.

Thomas Alan Orr raises Flemish Giant rabbits on a farm in Indiana. His most recent collection is Tongue to the Anvil: New and Selected Poems. His work has been featured on Garrison Keillor's Writer's Almanac. He has recent work appearing in Flying Island, the Merton Seasonal, and the Midwest Quarterly.