Maya Venters

   And then, the doctor said: Now Daphne,

it isn’t possible to turn into a tree

any more than you might be growing claws.

It’s far more likely early signs of menopause.

Any hot flashes? Brain fog? How’s your mood?

Have you noticed any aversions to your usual foods?

What’s that now? Oh! You’re only seventeen?

Really, I see no reason, then, to intervene.

    I know, I know, I see the little sprouts,

but dear, it’s far more likely you develop gout,

or lyme, or something like malaria,

than metamorphose. This is just hysteria

that’s probably from your hormones being off.

You do not have a fever, cold chills, or a cough,

and you’re all up to date on your vaccines.

    This seems like an irregular cycle. Has your routine

changed much these last few weeks? Have you been stressed

more than usual? Have you been getting proper rest?

Is there a chance you’re pregnant? Never know.

You haven’t come to see me in a year or so.

Your sexual history is out of date.

Come, let me check your heartbeat; take your height and weight.

    This bark-like pattern’s probably just a rash.

You mentioned you were in the woods and made a dash

through some thick trees. You could have scraped your thigh

against thistles or poison ivy. Keep an eye

on it these next few days, apply some cream,

and when you’re home, I’d take an antihistamine

in case it’s a mild allergic reaction.

As I said, no cause for serious action.

    I’ll say, I see things like this all the time.

You are a healthy woman, young and in your prime.

These sound like standard changes for someone

your age. I’d check your diet, maybe get less sun,

decrease your alcohol and your caffeine,

and when you’re out, make sure you’re always using sunscreen.

    I know you said you’re feeling very ill.

Perhaps, just to be safe, we’ll put you on the pill.

It will work wonders for your swings and skin.

I will admit, you seem to me too pale, too thin.

Your arms look like small branches, and your knees

like knots; your skin looks green. My years of expertise

tell me you’d like to be transformed for the attention

since all these symptoms seem to be your mind’s invention.

It’s quite common in hypochondriacs.

You should learn to discern your feelings from the facts.

And if being a tree is what you’re keen

on, save yourself the questionable hygiene

and simply dress as one this year for Halloween.